Dear Parents: A Letter of Frustration

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College is a huge deal for many kids, some parents take college extremely seriously, preparing the from the time they born to the time they grow up basically. My dad was no different, graduating from Berkeley, he expects no less of me, for me to be able to get accepted into a 4+ year prestigious college. I have no problem with that except he wants to do it his way.

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Last semester I received a single B, an 87.3%, in a class while the rest were A’s, as a result he has not allowed me to participate in any clubs calling it worthless volunteering. I want to do clubs so that I have fun, learn social skills, and be able to put it down on my college application. I tried to explain him the college application part only, since knowing him he wouldn’t even care if it was for fun or learning social skills. For him its academics, academics, academics. Because I got that one B last semester he is forcing me to stay at home to wake up at 10 am everyday to study until 12 am at night. He constantly reminds me that it is what he has done when he was a child, studying every weekend for tests weeks in advance.

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I understand the importance of studying but I find limiting me from participating in clubs unreasonable. As usual a child under a helicoptor Asian parent has no voice, when I explained to him, he just shrugged it off and said he would discuss it. He told me that I can only attend these clubs if I get straight A’s. The beginning of the semester is a crucial time to be active as it is the time before the election of club board members, I would love to be board members of the clubs I enjoy immensely; however…I can’t. To be a board member I would have to be active and guess what my dad is making me stay home and do….study.

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He lets me play games for 8 hours on Friday night, from the time I get home to night, but he doesn’t let me go out and volunteer and practice public speaking in clubs like Model United Nations.  I have already asked him if I could trade that 8 hours every Friday playing video games into hours I could use for volunteering. He just said he would discuss it. He won’t even tell me WHY he does’t let me go out and volunteer instead of playing video games every Friday. I love playing video games, it is extremely enjoyable to me, however I would be willing to give it up in order to get in college. For some reason he finds sitting at home playing video games to have more use than to go out and volunteer. I would appreciate it if he would told me his reasoning, but if I ever asked him I would probably just be told not to be disrespectful.

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It just irritates me that he doesn’t get it that I’m doing this for college, as who wants a college application with unfilled spaces. It irritates me even more that he is one of the worst listeners I know, he is the type that when you tell him something he nods and smiles which makes you feel like your idea isn’t worthy of his pondering. I had already swore to myself at a young age,that if I EVER had kids I would be closer to my kids than my dad ever was. This weekend we literally spoke 10 words. Looking at other dads and their kids makes me think how would my life be if my dad was actually open minded about stuff. He is literally so stubborn that he won’t ever admit hes wrong even when hes been proven wrong. Ever since I was a little child, whatever he said goes, no one ever argued with him in my family. Even now I find it difficult to change his mind once he has made a decision. Whenever I try to point out a fault he tries and points the blame back at me, it is extremely frustrating and makes me want to pull my hair out.

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Back on the top of clubs, the Berkeley Model United Nations conference is coming up, a significant conference that only happens yearly. I have asked him before if I could go, he said sure a few months before. Now he tells no, because I got a B last semester. I wanted to scream at him THIS IS AN ACADEMIC ACTIVITY THAT WILL BE WRITTEN DOWN ON A COLLEGE APPLICATION, but knowing him that would do nothing, only get me in trouble. For those who don’t know what Model United Nations is, it is when you are given a country and a problem to discuss along with other delegates(students from other schools) to form a resolution for the problem. It forces you to socialize and publicly speak, skills that are crucial to the outside world, yet my dad doesn’t let me go. I doubt he even understands what it is since when I explained to him before he just nodded his head and talked about some other unrelated topic. Back then I didn’t really like public speaking, now I have gotten better at it, I’m less shy and more confident when I go up to speak in front of the class. Model United Nations has benefited immensely, but like my dad would understand that. I feel like in his head the only things that mean anything to him are GPAs and the letter A.

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So now I can’t go to a Model United Nations conference I had been excited for and planning for since the beginning of the year. I feel like I might be wrong because of a unknown unknown, since I have not experienced the complete world fully yet there are complications and such that I do not know of. Therefore I think I’m right because I don’t know that I’m wrong. It would really help if my dad would tell me why he is doing this, I could learn from the experience. Unfortunately I doubt I will ever know since I don’t really have anyone to talk to in these matters and I have to rant to release my pent up anger at him in a blog, sad isn’t it. May some higher power help him understand my logic since he obviously doesn’t want to listen to it when it comes from my mouth. If you guys had reached this far, thanks for listening/reading to my rant, it was a slightly longer one.

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3 comments on “Dear Parents: A Letter of Frustration

  1. Naruto says:

    From my perspective, I think you should be able to go to the MUN conference. It’s a single B and I don’t understand why he’d rather let you play 8 hours of games, rather than volunteer and do events that would look good on a college application. I’m seriously doubting his priorities right now. Volunteering is probably to help you get into a better college. Your dad needs to understand that almost everyone who’s in college right now volunteered and participated in extra-curricular activities. I have a very short temper and I’m very, very, stubborn. So if I were you I’d just ask, and if he says no again I’d just keep arguing. He stubbornly says no? Argue. This might be a bad idea, but that’s what I would do. I usually just shut up and listen to them, but sometimes I just go out without them knowing and say it’s for school. That’s not a really smart thing to do, but it works for me…

    • chrisdiep says:

      He doesn’t let me do it apparently because its “fun” for me according to my mom. Because I got that B he wants to prevent me from doing anything fun, which I find is somewhat along the right track, something like a grounding. But what I find hard to comprehend that he doesn’t let me not play games, but be able to volunteer and do club activities.

  2. Naruto says:

    What’s wrong with having fun during high school? It helps out our college apps saying that we participated in community events and volunteered. What’s wrong with having fun? It helps us get into college and it releases stress. I don’t see why it’s too bad.

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